Here is my truth in this corner of my little world. In 2012 I turned 50! Hard to believe I know, but it is true. Surprisingly I didn’t have any trepidation about reaching this milestone; instead I embraced it and wanted to find ways to celebrate this century mark.
So I made lists of what I had done, what I was doing and what I hoped to do. I had partnered with a wonderful man and raised two beautiful daughters. I was currently taking a work tour through Texas with Mr. Wonderful, enjoying the thrill of becoming a grandmother (Mimi) to heart stealing kiddos and was blessed with the title “caregiver” to my mom, with my dad soon to follow. That’s when the list hit a wall…what did I hope to do or accomplish during the second century?
Have you ever been asked the question, “What do you want to do when you grow up?” I suddenly realized that is exactly where I was…a stunned 50 yr. old with NO idea! I had jokingly referred to myself as a retired stay-at-home-mom, but when faced with that in the light of my so called list my exuberance quickly faded. I mean really… What did I want to do?
I’ve heard it said that throughout our lives people come in and write on the wall of our identity. Thereby giving us a definition of how we see ourselves. I am a visual person, so I imagine there being a giant chalkboard hanging around in my head with scribble written on it. Mine might read something like this…daughter, sister, “the baby”, spoiled, wife, housekeeper,
cook, mom, creative, grouch, funny, friend, confidante, sensitive, loved, hated, acquaintance, introvert and extrovert (depending on who you talk to…friend or family, I personally think I am an in-extrovert: a combination of the two), grandmother, etc, etc. Of course that is just a sampling. I’m not really going to give you the descriptive words I don’t like.
All that being said, I had turned 50 and all the words that defined me had left me confused about who I really am. Who I was created to be? So armed with Psalm 139, I decided to set out and find out. Staying Stacy is a journey to learn how to embrace myself as God created me. It is a journey of trial and error, success and failure and the beauty of being able to laugh through it all as I discover “What I really want to do when I grow up!”