What to do! What to do!
Here is some truth in this corner of my little world.
In 2012 I turned 50! Hard to believe I know, but it is true. Surprisingly, I didn’t have any trepidation about reaching this milestone; instead I embraced it and wanted to find ways to celebrate this century mark.
So I started making lists of what I had done, what I was doing and what I hoped to do. I had a solid partnership with a wonderful man and together we had raised two beautiful daughters. From 2008 to 2013 we had embarked on a working tour of Texas and I was enjoying the thrill of becoming a Mimi to heart stealing baby grands. Towards the end of that tour I was blessed to be called “caregiver” to my parents. As I stepped into those milestones in life, I began to look at the list of my identity and wonder where I was headed.
Have you ever been asked the question, “What do you want to do when you grow up?” I suddenly realized that is exactly where I was…a stunned 50+ yr. old with NO idea! Often times I had jokingly referred to myself as a retired stay-at-home-mom, but when faced with that in the light of my so called list, my exuberance quickly faded. I mean really… What did I want to do?
I’ve heard it said that people come in and write on the wall of your identity. Thereby giving us a definition of how we see ourselves. I tend to operate as a visual person, so in my imagination hangs a giant chalkboard with descriptive scribble written on it.
Mine might read something like this…daughter, sister, “the baby”, spoiled, wife, housekeeper,
cook, mom, creative, grouch, funny, friend, confidante, sensitive, loved, hated, acquaintance, introvert, extrovert, and grandmother, etc, etc. Of course that is just a sampling. I’m not really going to give you the descriptive words I don’t like!
With all that hanging around in my head, along with the fact I had entered the second half of my life, I found the words that defined me left me confused about who I really was. Who was I created to be? So armed with Psalm 139, I decided to put foot to path and find out. Thus began Staying Stacy, a journey of learning how to embrace myself as God created me.
I have learned how to wrap this journey of trial and error and success and failure in the beauty of Father’s created. Letting myself not only share in the tears, but also learning to laugh as I travel this BIG LIFE adventure.
I’m really past the phase on wondering what I will be when I grow up. Instead, I have now found I would rather focus on what Father wants me to be. To be more aware of what He is showing me through this everyday journey of existence. I have learned He has given me the ability to see Him not only in the simple things, but also the complexities as well.
Those things written on the chalkboard of my mind have given me perspective and insight, regardless of how I often times feel about them. There isn’t a single thing wasted in the hands of a good Father and learning how to embrace that is really a lot more fun!
Editors Note: This post was originally published in July of 2013 and has been completely revamped and updated for accuracy and comprehensiveness.