Although this might seem strange to some, I greet today with some anticipation and anxiety. I am going to meet my Dad today. As I sit here reflecting on how this will go I wonder if he’ll remember me; or if I’ll recognize him.
This is all so strange for me because he is the man who raised me, so it’s not like we’ve never met. I grew up in his house, he was present at my wedding and he has been a steady fixture in my kid’s lives.
So why? Unfortunately time, distance and disease have come between us. Today begins a new chapter in the relationship. Today we must redefine our roles and become reacquainted – me as caregiver and him the recipient of that care.
In the past he has provided for me, taught me how to navigate through this maze of life and helped me define the better qualities in myself. Now it is my turn to shoulder the load and guide him through the last leg of his journey. I’m not really sure how long we have, but I pray for the courage and strength to be as good at it as he was.
(I journaled this on July 31, 2013 when my dad made the move to be closer to my family. I didn’t know then it would become a reality for me every day since his arrival. I am learning how to navigate this leg of his journey with an additional player…Alzheimer’s (has not been diagnosed with alzheimer’s but vascular dementia). Everyday is new and fresh and ushers in a greater wave of God’s grace and mercy)
I have no pictures to show you of his handsome face, they are all in storage (more on that later). So I’ll give you a mental visual… physically: Tall – ish, blonde hair, blue eyes; appearance: Wrangler Cowboy Cut jeans – starched, white long sleeve shirt – starched, leather belt with Team Roping buckle attached, black felt Stetson hat and a pair of Lucchese boots. And if he is standing next to something he probably has his elbow resting on it and a slight lean in his stature.
Because this is all so new to me I would love to hear from anyone who has walked a similar path. I believe we walk through things so that we can help others navigate through their own journey, with encouragers who have weathered the course. I would love to have some encouragers along the way!