The Land of Endless Wandering
I find myself sitting here this morning trying desperately to get alone with Father and my thoughts. Then I mindlessly click on FaceBook.
Once I hit that innocent looking app, staring at me, I KNOW it will be 30 minutes before I force myself from the land of Endless Wandering! But I don’t listen to the whisper of the Holy Spirit…”no!” And off I go.
Greeted at the door, are my memories from 6 years ago. Throwing me back into a time and space of yesterday. Memories that this foreign land thinks will bring a smile because I posted it, not knowing or caring that it is a memory that carries unspoken history. Yet still I visit it briefly, allowing myself to be carried back in time before I swipe my way out.
In this land of Endless Wandering I read of pets and their silliness, sweet words concerning love and friendship, witty words about coffee, the coming weekend and summertime fun. I find myself lost in the agony of missing children, lost loved ones, someone done me wrong songs and bitterness of broken dreams. Then I round the corner of thankfulness and find families who are celebrating births, friends with birthdays, spouses praising their marriages and days of good health.
Suddenly, my mind remembers that my heart was yearning for some sweet fellowship with Father and I am jolted back to my couch. As my body starts to honor obedience and push close I find I have stopped on the block of “I’ve got to have that”! So before I exit I purchase a necklace I don’t need, bras that I will never wear and donate to a fund I know nothing about. Now, not only have I wasted time, I have wasted treasure too!
Sitting in my guilt of disobedience I wonder if this is where the Israelites lived in the wilderness. After watching the Red Sea part and singing their song of thanksgiving, knowing that Father only had their best interest at heart; did they often travel in this land of Endless Wandering in their minds?
Did they wake up to the memories of what had been, knowing that even though it looks good in memory, the pain of what it actually housed was always there? Did they too get caught up in the humor of quail failing from the sky, manna lying on the ground when they awoke and water gushing from the rock? Was their attention stolen from them as babies were born, loved ones were lost, birthdays, anniversaries and marriages were celebrated? And what about the distraction of gaining things and grabbing at things that were actually unneeded for this spiritual journey? Did they too find themselves at the end of the day sitting in the guilt of missed opportunity?
You know, if you really break it down, all Father wants for any of us is to honor Him above all others. Your time and talent and treasure are better stewarded through relationship with Him. It is in that place with Father that the moths can’t destroy and the locust can’t eat. It is in that place with Him where time can actually stand still and can be redeemed for benefit.
It took the Israelites 40 years of wandering because they couldn’t control their entrance into the land of Endless Wandering. They had visible signs of His presence. They had an audible voice from above and a leader who glowed from sitting in the presence of Father, yet they too couldn’t resist the earthly temptations of the mind.
Today as I visit this place I come before Father and repent. I know I live in a body of flesh, but I want to live out of my spirit. So I ask Holy Spirit to gird me in the strength of Christ. The strength He had as He walked in His body of flesh. The strength to resist the land of Endless Wandering and embrace the journey of the Kingdom At Hand.