The last 30 days have been extremely hard for me to put pen to paper. And when I say hard, I mean hard by it’s very definition.
HARD = physically or mentally difficult: not easy; difficult to experience: severe or harsh: having a lot of pain, trouble, or worries. (Merriam-Webster)
I am not really sure why, but I had literally become paralyzed by the weight of expressing myself.
All of my life I have journaled. It has always been a way for me to get it all out; release my fears, frustrations, anxiety and anger – lay my soul bare before the Lord.
Very early on I learned to use it as a way to communicate with my heavenly Father. So in a way it became a prayer and answer session because very often He would reveal the answer to what my spirit was longing for.
I noticed that after I had obligated myself ( and told the world) about participating in the 31 Day Writing Challenge I became very weary about sharing AND the actual thought of having to put any effort into writing became grueling.
As I struggled with this I just completely shut down. Hence…not finishing the challenge or writing since.
One of the names written on the chalkboard of my character “she doesn’t finish what she starts” took control.
It wasn’t until I allowed myself to wrestle with this unwanted visitor that I began to see it for what it was a L.I.E.!
And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you. (Philippians 1:6 AMP)
This lie was a ploy to get me off track and away from the flow of the Father’s love and purpose for me.
I had been introduced by this name at a very early age in my life and it wasn’t until NOW that I recognized it for what it is…a L.I.E.! (It only took me some 40+ years!)
As of today, I am still wrestling with it. Some days it gets the upper hand and I stumble back a few steps, but those days are becoming fewer and fewer.
Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour. (1 Peter 5:8 AMP)
I just have to keep erasing that name off my chalkboard and replacing it with the name of my true character…O.V.E.R.C.O.M.E.R!!!!
You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. (1 John 4:4 NIV)
For whatever is born of God is victorious over the world; and this is the victory that conquers the world, even our faith. (1 John 5:4 AMP)
If there is anyone else out there struggling with bad character attack…know you are not alone. We only become stronger when we stand together against the fiery darts of the enemy.
Withstand him; be firm in faith [against his onset – rooted, established, strong, immovable, and determined], knowing that the same (identical) sufferings are appointed to your brotherhood (the whole body of Christians) throughout the world. (1 Peter 5:9 AMP)